Future Glory…
“For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” - Romans 8:24-25
Let me preface this post with this: today, I feel called to be vulnerable and real with you all about what I am feeling. If you stay with me to the end of this post, I promise it will end in a much better place than where it may start!
Hope: “to expect with confidence” “to cherish a desire with anticipation: to want something to happen or be true” (merriam-webster.com)
If I have learned anything over the past five years, it’s that hope and patience are extremely difficult! And more often than not, waiting for God’s timing- when you clearly have your own path meticulously mapped out already- can be so disheartening. Infertility is heartbreaking; adoption is discouraging. And I can’t help but think to myself, what is God doing? How can this be good? How many times can I bend before I break? So many of us have experienced the grief that comes with trying to grow our families, whether through the loss of an unborn child, stillbirths, or the realization we may not be able to get pregnant. And all of it is beyond our control, yet it’s so easy to blame ourselves and drive ourselves mad, asking, what did we do wrong? So many have dealt with infertility and know the hopelessness of yet another negative test, all too well. There is a delicate balance between hope and despair in those moments. We’ve seen specialists, changed our diets, taken pills, given ourselves shots, started exercising, read books, and we have prayed. Yet here we still sit, with our “not yet.” We are hopefully waiting to experience the joys of motherhood, and all the while babies are being born, to our friends and family members, to women who aren’t ready, and all the while, we are still here, waiting. My heart goes out to all of you who have experienced loss, frustration, anger, and sadness around building your family. I am praying for you!
Last week we found out that we were yet again not chosen for a case. It was down to us and another couple; we even had a phone call with the birth mom, but she did not choose us. It was so discouraging- baby boy, born January 18th just waiting for a family, but it wasn’t us. This case impacted me more than the previous ones, maybe because he was already here, perhaps because I am still raw from our failed match less than a month ago. But more than anything these past few weeks, I feel like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff just waiting for that one thing, that next “not yet,” to break me and send me tumbling down with no way back up. Last week I got an upper respiratory virus, and it took me two whole weeks to recover. This constant state of stress and anxiety has started affecting my physical body, and I know I need to find a way forward, which led me again to God’s word in Romans 8.
18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
I know as Paul writes to the church in Rome he is writing about all of creation’s suffering and is pointing us to a future glory, which is the redemption of God’s chosen people. Nonetheless, reading this chapter helped put into perspective my current suffering. Paul’s words encouraged me to remember that this time of sorrow, which seems needless and never-ending, is nothing compared to the glory awaiting us when Jesus returns and rids the world of all suffering and sadness. Our bodies and minds will be redeemed and refreshed.
26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Remembering that the Holy Spirit is there when we feel discouraged, disheartened, or beaten down was so helpful this past week. Even when I don’t know how to pray because I can’t know or understand God’s will, the Spirit continues to intercede for me and lifts me up when I feel like I can’t keep going. Paul’s words made me realize that even though I may feel like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff, I am not alone. And if that next “not yet” pushes me over the edge, I will be lifted up again and planted safely on my feet every time. The Holy Spirit intercedes for us even in our lowest moments when the only words we can muster are, why God?.
31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?
It was reassuring to remember God is for us, that he sent his only Son to die for us; why would he not also graciously give us what we desire in motherhood? We can “expect with confidence” that God will give us all things. If only we can continue to be patient.
So friends, as we sit here in our “not yet” waiting patiently for God’s will to be revealed, please know that it’s ok to feel sad, angry, or discouraged as we face these struggles. But during this challenging season, remember that God has great things planned for each of us, and nothing can separate us from his love. A love so great that he sent his son to take the punishment for our unfaithfulness and distrust. Let us also pray for one another to remember that God is gracious and cares for us as his children. We have nothing to fear.
29 “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
- Matthew 10:29-31
With Love,
Tiffany
